Nightmares.

I very rarely have dreams I can remember. So why is it that lately I've been waking up remembering horrible nightmares? *sigh* At least it's a good indicator of the mood I'll be in. Too bad it's not a good mood. And of course most of these nightmares involve my ex and her boyfriend. I swear, I thought I was past this by now. Apparently my dreams aren't. Mostly the dreams involve them continuing to torture me and make me miserable, while I keep right on trying to be their friend. Because even in my dreams I'm a sucker. The worst thing about it is that the reality isn't that different, except that in reality it's mostly my own mind torturing me, and them just being selfish idiots. I swear, why do I have to be like this? I'm normally so good and the whole "forgive and forget" deal. I guess they managed to find something I can't forgive. So of course now I'm in a shitty mood, and that's not good since I've been having a mild manic episode lately, which makes emotional control rather difficult. On the plus side, it means this mood won't last long, since I mood swing a lot when I'm like this. (Yeah, still with the mood swings, it's a bitch...) At least I'm not as depressed as I have been, hopefully I won't lapse back into that too soon. Oh well, one good thing about it all, my life won't get too boring since my brain is a freakin' roller coaster. Well, I guess that's enough written introspection for now, back to just thinking it.