War.

So much conflict inside my head, and it's driving me mad. I've been mood swinging violently, and I'm not sure if it's ever going to end. There are just so many things racing through my head, battling for control, I feel like I'm just sitting by the wayside, trying to stay out of the crossfire between my feelings. Love versus hate, joy versus sadness, humility versus hubris, good versus evil. I'm not sure who's winning, but I have a sinking feeling that good is losing ground. I don't want to lose control, but that's very obviously where I seem to be headed. It's terrifying sometimes, how I can just completely lose myself, trapped so deep inside my own head that I'm not even me anymore, I'm just a lost voice screaming for freedom, chained in the back of my own mind, while all the darkest parts of my psyche take the reigns. All I can do is keep fighting it, but it's so hard sometimes. Sometimes I just want to give up, to let them win. *sigh*