Disillusioned.

Nothing feels real anymore. My life has become an illusion, devoid of meaning or substance. Maybe it's not life, maybe it's me. Perhaps I have become so confused and jaded that I'm not even myself anymore. It's an odd feeling, like I'm not really a part of things, not even a part of myself, like I'm some foreign entity silently observing the decline of a pathetic, worthless human being. I've always had a lot of times that I've felt this way, but lately it's been almost constant. I'm not even faking it well anymore, people have started to notice my total disengagement from my surroundings, and myself. I'm not sure what makes this happen, but I just desperately want something to feel real again. I'm starting to forget what "real" feels like, and it's really scaring me. I don't want to end up like this forever, I'm terrified that I'll never be able to bring myself back to reality, that I'll slip further and further into my head and never escape, that I'll become nothing, an empty shell. All I want is to curl up in a little ball and cry. I just want someone to tell it's all going to be okay, and really mean it. I just want something to give me some hope, something to cling to, something to anchor me so I won't drift further and further into this nightmare. I want to be okay again, it feels like it's been forever since I've really felt right. Please, just make this all go away.